Pt. 3
Life after the heart
The hero rescues the damsel from the villain, and all is saved. I received my new heart and happily ever after. End of story, but we all know that the story does not end there. I received the new heart so the story wouldn’t end. I woke up from surgery in a couple of days, and I felt like a Mack truck had run over me. I awoke to so many machines and devices hooked up to my body. I felt like a bionic woman. (flashback to my childhood) I was unable to do anything for myself. I needed around-the-clock care.
New Normal
As each day passed, machine by machine, device by device, started to leave my room. My body started to get stronger and stronger. It began with a biopsy every week and then every two weeks. Finally, I was having a biopsy every month. I finally left the ICU and went to a regular room on the Cardiac floor. I had to get used to my new heart and new limitations, but I was upmobile and taking care of my basic needs. I remember the day my doctor came into my hospital room and said do you want to go home. Smiling up at my doctor, I said yes. He told me the following Monday I could go home. Unfortunately, the story does not end here with happily ever after.
Setback
Over the weekend, as I anxiously awaited to go home, the unthinkable happened. I had just finished up a visit with a co-worker. I was in high spirits and feeling good. What was there not to feel good about? I was going home on Monday. I had made friends with the food attendant, and he was in my room visiting with me. All of a sudden, I start not to feel so good. The only way I can explain it was like a computer shutting off. I saw all the nursing staff rush into my room before I blacked out. I awoke to more machines and devices attached to me. All my hard worked down the drain. I was back in the ICU.
Depression
I sank into a deep depression. I questioned everything. I questioned my existence; I asked God, my family, and everything. Why would a loving God allow me to go through all this? I no longer tried to get out of bed or care for myself. I wallow in self-pity. But who knows that God had plans for me. For I know my plans for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
